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Bush To Screw Up Nation’s DVR Schedules at 9:01 PM

President Bush will deliver a televised address to the nation tonight concerning the credit crisis and proposed government bail out, likely screwing up everyone’s planned recordings of Criminal Minds and CSI: New York’s season premieres.

The address also threatens to derail David Blaine’s live magic show and the gulliable idiots who plan to watch it believing a man can possess magical abilities, viewers also known as Obama voters.

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